Looks like I've come up with a workable solution
using portqry.exe (version 2, available from MS's site)
firstly I nsexec a batch file that wraps the portquery.exe and provides one parameter %1 , to pass in the $CFMAILSERVER (I require to verify a coldfusion server default mailserver), anyway , using the errorlevel function of dos I can then check the exit code of portqry, and output either success or failed to my 'results file' on c:\, which I then use NSIS to read, chop a couple of bytes off the end, and use to check if the mail server verified ok!
my code is attached as its too long
edit: actually I can't find where to attach it so if anyone wants the code just send me a private message! doh!
🙂 I hope it'll help anyone else trying to do the same task.
The end results work quite well
(for reference)